I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i think im in europe. pls send help
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
