this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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