I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
