Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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