Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
