Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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