Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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