omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
