I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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