While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
