I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
