I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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