i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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