yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
