can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
