Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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