I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
