ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
