In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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