Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
