I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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