She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
