Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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