i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
