I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
