I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
