When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
as a side note pls kill me
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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