he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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