what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
