That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
