You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
