I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
