His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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