so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How's work?
Spinning.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Randomize
