And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
