he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
