3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
In America we eat man semen.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
