you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
