i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
