that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
