Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
