Whod you bang
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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