She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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