There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
