Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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