How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
