bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wish you could order shots online.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
