Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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