margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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