Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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