And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
